Taking a moment to reflect while some memories are still fresh
It wasn’t until I returned my computer and handed in my access card that I felt a slight sense of relief.
I’m not sure when exactly I started feeling the “corporate grind,” but it probably began with endless PUA tactics, flashy and pointless rules, and meaningless meetings.
As my first company after graduation, there were moments of deep despair and helplessness—unreasonable requests, constant blame-shifting, and exhausting communications that made work feel draining. I’m not sure if one can truly grow in such an environment. But I definitely don’t want to continue working and living in this kind of painful way.
Although I often muttered the phrase “work like an ox” throughout the year, I actually dislike such labels. Even in harsh environments, hope is essential to keep living. Half a year ago, I felt my life was hopeless, caught in endless nihilism. Somehow, something pulled me out—maybe photography, maybe the desire to keep living, or perhaps it was my once naive expectations of this industry.
I really like a quote from The Courage to Be Disliked:
“Don’t think of life as a line; think of it as a series of points.”
No matter what happened in the past, your current state depends on the meaning you assign to those events. Some moments are painful in the process, but looking back, they may turn out to be beneficial. I’m not glorifying suffering—life simply throws strange, inexplicable things at everyone, and that’s normal.
We can’t change events themselves, but we can change our subjective view of them. When you feel pain or discomfort, try to clear your mind, focus on small tasks at hand, and postpone expectations for an hour or a few days. It often helps.
This year at Digital Engine was also a year living in Changsha. Whenever I had free time, I wandered around the city with my camera. Tens of thousands of shutter clicks weren’t just mechanical vibrations—they were moments of emotional resonance. I’m glad I spent this year with photography: witnessing sunsets, feeling the harsh zero-degree winds and snow, and soaking in the warmth and romance of rainy nights. Photography became a remedy for ordinary life.
I was fortunate that four of my photos appeared on Changsha Cover, adding many beautiful memories of the city. I may not record Changsha in this way again, so I plan to organize my photos into a photo book for the city in the coming months.
Saying goodbye is never easy. It’s bittersweet, but the experience ends here.
Thank you to every colleague and friend who shared this journey with me. Until we meet again~
ps: 2023-07-03 -> 2024-08-13